Another Reason to Love Southern California

When we lived in San Jose, both Tim and I had a bit of a hard time after we got married. We were adjusting just fine to it, but no one around us seemed to be able to (namely in school or work situations). The minute I got back from my honeymoon my co-workers (who I had worked with for a year and a half) all started treating me different, like I was someone new who they didn't have much in common with. In all my classes when I spoke with someone new and started telling them a story that in any way involved "my husband and I," my classmates would immediately stop me, stare, and shockingly ask, "You're married?!" And the story I had been telling was completely forgotten about. I know the same thing happened with Tim a lot too, as well as his co-workers treating him differently.

Here on campus, in beautiful Southern California, I have only had this encounter once. That's right, once. I have been coming on campus for things for two or three months now and meeting with different people, all of whom ask, "what brought you here?" Which elicits the response, "my husband got a job in LA." The first gentleman who I told this to didn't see how this was possible because I "look like I must be 15 years old". Thanks. Anyway. That hasn't happened since. I have told tons of people that I am married or the phrase, "my husband and I" has been used countless times and not a single person, besides that one guy, has stopped me to clarify that I am indeed really married. It is so nice for that to be considered ok.

In fact, in class today we were talking about different types of stressors, both positive (like planning a wedding) and negative (like a funeral). On the note of positive stressors she was saying that while in school different people have different outside stresses that affect their education experience like jobs, marraige, and commuting. Then she asked who was working, married, or commutes. It was a relief to see at least 10 other people raise their hand when she asked who was married.

In San Jose it seemed that it was fine and adorable for you to be engaged while in school or at this age even, but being married at this age was insensible and impracticle. It's hard to explain this to the Bay Area locals, but everything is so high strung there. Business and work come first. If you manage to have a relationship don't let it get in the way, oh, and don't get married for a while, that would not be a sound investment at this time. Also, if you want a family, don't let it interfere with your work. And I guess you can have time to relax and fit in leisure, but make sure it is beneficial to your resume. (Ok, so that may be a little exagurated, but it's pretty close..)

It is so nice to be back in Southern California. It can still be very busy and hectic...but there is an inexplicable sense that things are just a bit more laid back.